Preparing for Marriage

This is an exciting and wonderful time in your life. Deep in your heart you realize that what is happening in your life is not simply good luck or fate. It is God working in your life and bringing you together! Marriage is holy. And you are being called by God to a new level of holiness and to bring your spouse to holiness.

We at St. Pius Tenth share your joy and want to help you in preparing spiritually for your life together through an authentic celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

We also want to help you plan your wedding ceremony as a positive spiritual experience that you and your guests will remember with joy.

Please feel free to call us with any questions or any ways we can be of assistance to you throughout this time of preparation and afterwards.

Please call Deacon Jim Briars at 585-247-2566 Ext 103 for details on what can or can not be done at your wedding. DO NOT contact the Music or Wedding Coordinator until you have spoken directly to Deacon Jim 

Pre-Cana Registration 

PRAYER BEFORE MARRIAGE

Loving God,
source of all love,
Your grace has brought us together.
As we prepare for the sacrament of marriage,
we pray for your blessing and guidance
so we may grow in respect for one another
and cherish each other and our world
with a sincere love.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

God, may Your love and peace
live and grow in us,
guide our steps,
and help us share God’s love
with each other and with all we meet
now and forever.
Amen.

1. SPIRITUAL PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE
   Initial interview with Pastoral Associate to discuss the Sacrament of Matrimony and:
   • Your eligibility to marry in the Catholic Church
   • Your relationship with the Church/our parish
   • Requirements to prepare for the sacrament (Pre-Cana, Fully Engaged, etc.)
   • Set date/time for your wedding ceremony/rehearsal (No dates can be set prior to this meeting).
   • Prayer and Spirituality as a couple
   • Invitation to receive a special engaged blessing

2. FORMS OF CELEBRATING WEDDINGS
   Like all Church sacraments, marriage is celebrated in the context of the Word of God, witnessed by a priest or deacon on behalf of the Church and the State, during the Liturgy of the Word and/or Eucharist (Mass):

• Two Catholics who regularly participate in the Parish and at Mass may choose to celebrate in the context of a Mass.
• Couples who are Catholic and another denomination/faith will discuss what is most appropriate (Liturgy of the Word with/without Eucharist), depending on your current practice.

3. PLANNING YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY
   The wedding ceremony is a community prayer that includes music, scripture readings, homily, prayers of petition, exchange of vows, blessing of rings and the nuptial blessing. You will want to make it possible for the congregation to participate as fully as possible.

MUSIC
Choosing sacred music to help you and your guests worship and sing God’s praises is an important part of your planning. Our Wedding Music Coordinator will assign your organist and cantor who will lead the congregational singing. All music selection and outside musicians is overseen by our Wedding Music Coordinator.

PROCESSION
See your Wedding Coordinator. The groom and groomsmen  enter from the side link – bridesmaids, followed by the bride and her Father/Parent or another come up the center aisle. Both the bride and groom have equal prominence in the procession.

READINGS & READERS/LECTORS
We provide you with a variety of Scripture readings from which to choose. We urge you to have well-prepared family members or friends proclaim the Readings & Prayers of the Faithful (Universal Prayer). You may also choose the Gospel which is proclaimed by the Presider. Other readings may not be substituted for the Word of God. Please read the guidelines regarding lectors.

FLOWERS & BOWS
You are welcome to provide 1-2 bouquets of flowers to add beauty to the worship of God. These will be placed in the sanctuary and are left in church as part of your offering to God and gift to the Parish. Bows may be tied to the pews by the florist; no tape may be used.

CANDLES
To highlight the connection of marriage with the other sacraments we use altar candles. Optional: Unity Candle & 2 tapers, provided by you at the rehearsal. You can display it in your home and use it on your anniversaries.

PROGRAM
We encourage you to provide programs for your guests which include the responses spoken and songs sung by the congregation, as well as the names of the principal participants in the ceremony. Please show the draft to your parish Wedding Coordinator at your meetings well in advance of printing.

VIDEOTAPING
Videotaping with no extra lighting is permitted during the ceremony; light/sound in the worship space are good. Couples may be wired with microphones, if compatible with our sound system. No mounting of any microphones to Ambo. Please give the videographer the handout below about rules for videography at the wedding before the ceremony.

PHOTOGRAPHY
Have your professional photographer/s get instructions from wedding coordinator before the ceremony, and be as inconspicuous as possible. Please advise your guests in advance that cameras may not be used during the ceremony since they detract from the spiritual experience. After the ceremony, the wedding party has 30 minutes for posed photos. If more time is desired, make alternative arrangements with your photographer to shoot photos at another location.
Please use this link for the Wedding Photography and Videography Rules.

REHEARSAL/WEDDING COORDINATION
The rehearsal is usually held the evening before the ceremony. The Wedding Coordinator will lead the rehearsal and coordinate the wedding party during the ceremony. Everyone taking any part in the ceremony must attend and be ON TIME so we can begin promptly and end in reasonable time. Please bring to the rehearsal:

• Marriage license
• Name/phone number of your videographer/photographer
• Unity candle and side candles (if using them)
• Programs, if you are using them

BALLOONS, CONFETTI, ETC.
No balloons, confetti, rice, birdseed, petals or similar materials may be used anywhere on the property. Blowing bubbles is permitted outdoors in the parking lot after the ceremony.

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES/DRUGS
Please advise your wedding party and guests that alcoholic beverages and drugs are strictly prohibited at any time on church property and will not be tolerated at the rehearsal or wedding ceremony. If there is evidence of use, the ceremony may be postponed.

AFTER YOUR WEDDING
If you will continue worshipping at St. Pius Tenth after your wedding, please notify the parish office so we can update your registration card. If you will worship in another parish, be sure to register there as a married couple and let our office know. The Church wants to be part of your lives as a couple. Please be attentive to parish activities that offer on-going enrichment for you and an opportunity to share your gifts through volunteering. When you start a family, contact the parish staff ahead of time regarding preparation for your baby’s Baptism.

SCHEDULING AND FEES
Weddings are scheduled after speaking with the Pastoral Associate, Deacon Jim Briars.

1. Signing for the hearing impaired is available by calling our parish office at (585) 247-2566 at least three (3) weeks prior to the date of the class.
2. CHECKLIST(Check off each step as you complete):
   _____ Meeting w/Pastoral Associate (discuss readiness/date)
   _____ Pay Wedding Fee to Parish when date is set
   _____ Fully Engaged (complete forms, then meet 4-6 times to review)
   _____ Register for a Pre-Cana Session On-Line
   _____ Liturgy Booklet/Planning with Wedding Prep Coordinator.
   _____ Wedding Liturgy Prep Meeting
   _____ Individual Planning with Wedding Music Coordinator
   _____ Rehearsal and bring Marriage License
   _____ Celebration of the Sacrament
   _____
   _____